Monday, March 18, 2013

Hurt

Someone who needed caressing I pushed away, because my mind was battling with my heart.

My head hurts and my ears are closed off. I've sewn my mouth, so my thoughts only can reach who is needed. No more pain. I am immune. As I stand in front of the wall, my hands shoulder width apart, my palms are touching the cold white wall. My forehead is repeatedly hitting the wall. I feel a hand on the back of my neck pushing me to do it, but I know I am alone in the room. My eyes are closed as there were too many lights pointed at me. I stop and feel my forehead that is wet and warm.

I turn away and my knees are weak; so I let the my back slide down the wall. I am sitting on the floor. my hands are catching my head as it falls forward. I try to take a deep breath, but my ribs, don't allow that. I feel pressure from one side. I try to open my eyes and warm liquid, slowly falling down my face, is covering my eyes.

I smell blood. My fingers' have became sticky. I wipe my face, and my eyes with my t-shirt. Blood from my forehead is rolling down my face...
Why am I not surprised? I look up on the wall, and a big splash mark of fresh blood is where my head was...

Someone who needed caressing I pushed away, because my mind was battling with my heart. I can be so stupid sometimes...

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